We Can't (He Can)

The other day, my five year old daughter spoke in a not so kind way to her brothers. It happens every day that my kids speak unkindly to each other, so it wasn't shocking. When I punished her, she spoke unkindly to me. She kept digging a hole, and she wouldn't stop. Finally, after much sin, she broke. When she did, she admitted through sobs, "Momma, I try to be good every day. I try so hard, but I just can't do it. Please tell me what to do. I don't know how to be good all by myself! Teach me how, Momma!"

Then, I couldn't help myself. I cried with her because I know she's right. She can't be good. I can't either. I do the same thing. I try to be good, but I fail. I try to speak gently to my children, but I wind up losing my temper. I try to keep from criticizing little things my husband does, and I find a way to say something about them even if it's in jest. I try to spend more time with God, but I wind up wasting time on the internet. I fail royally. I am no good. Like my daughter, I don't know how to be good. I dig a deep hole and sit in it, and it's much deeper than hers.

Paul felt a similar frustration too. In Romans 7, he writes: 

 ¹⁵ For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶ Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. ¹⁷ So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. ¹⁸ For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
²¹ So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. ²² For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, ²³ but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. ²⁴ Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

Paul said that he does what he hates. Surely, we all relate to him. Our members wage war against each other on a daily basis, but there's hope! Sweet hope! God will deliver us from this body of death once and for all. As much as sin displeases God, the presence of hated sin in our lives and the daily struggle we face is two fold:

1) It makes us thankful for and dependent on His grace. We remember where we were before we became believers, and we thank God for the spiritual growth. We can see evidence that we have overcome past sins. Even though sin doesn't stop after we become believers because our flesh is still alive and well, we have hope to overcome it. We can rely on His strength to succeed and His grace when we fail miserably.
2) It keeps us focused on heaven. We become Kingdom minded. We know we will be delivered from sin once and for all. And we long for that day.

I told my precious daughter through tears, "You're right. You can't. I can't." I asked her, "Whom should we ask for help?" She immediately replied with a knowing smile, "God. God will help us be good, Momma." She's right again. God bless that amazing baby girl for being such a little minster to my heart.

The Good Fruit

Lately, I have pondered sin a lot. I think about why I sin, how I sin, and what it means when I sin. Just this week, I've reread the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis 3 for the hundredth time, it seems. Thinking about the first sin reminded me I've missed the point of the story much of my life. Focusing on the forbidden fruit makes me look at sin like the world does. There was a rule set before Adam and Eve, and they broke the rule because it was no fun to follow the rules. The fruit was food after all, so they did it anyway. Then, they were punished. Simple enough, right? Well, I've realized that by focusing on the fruit I've missed the Garden of Eden. In other words, God gave Adam and Eve more trees full of fruit that were yes's than He gave them no's.

Another realization I've had is that the forbidden fruit is not in and of itself bad. After all, we learn in the Creation story that everything God made was good. God knew they would feel shame after eating the fruit because they weren't supposed to do so. He knew all the consequences of their eating that one fruit, and He wanted to protect them. The punishment wasn't the rule He gave; it was the result of the bad thing done.

I often looked at sin, like Eve, as the forbidden fruit glowing and growing in delight as I gazed at it. Why would God not want me to have something so good? To state it plainly, it's horrible for me when I long for the juicy piece of fruit more than I long for God. He knows that so well when I do not. My evil desires taint that fruit, not the other way around. I always need to see what's good for me is as vast and beautiful as the Garden of Eden. Why not choose the good things instead of dwelling on the one bad thing?

Leaving

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29 (ESV)

When I came across this verse in Matthew the other night, I began to weep. Leaving our families and friends in the deep South to do ministry in the Mid-west caused some heartache, yet I didn't really feel like these verses applied to us. I couldn't help but think of the men and women who leave our country and minister overseas far far away from family and friends and everything they know as normal. The people who move and adopt a new way of life, a new culture, and a new language solely to tell people about Jesus are the ones I envision when I read this verse. Leaving my normal doesn't begin to compare to what these servants do. I felt God calling me to pray for them much more often. We have around five thousand missionaries overseas in my denomination (Southern Baptist) alone. There are many from other denominations who go. There are even some who travel from afar to be missionaries here in the United States. We must to pray for these people because leaving is hard. I'm thankful that their reward is great.

Rethinking Joy as a Back Row Baptist

For over two years now, I've enjoyed being a back row Baptist. Before you judge me prematurely, please give me a chance to explain how being a part of a church without the pressures of full-time ministry draining my husband, my kids, and me has changed my perspective on difficulties in ministry and helped me find joy again.

I have a lot of friends who are ministers' wives. Almost every time I talk to another one of these precious friends, I ask for prayer requests and receive the same one: "Please pray for me to find joy in my every day life." As I speak with them, I catch myself thinking, "I have joy now. When did that happen? How did that happen? Will it go away when we enter full-time ministry again soon?"

I could go on and on about the possible reasons why pastors' wives lose joy. I could list all the negatives of full-time ministry; however, as a back row Baptist for the last two years, I've realized what I do now that I didn't do then. In the past, I looked at all the problems, and I felt helpless. Not only did I feel helpless, I believed I was helpless.

I was looking in the wrong place while sitting on the front row. I was focused on everything behind and beside me.

Now, on the back row, I see the answer clearly. Even though I see the people filling the pews, I now know I must focus on what's above us all. It doesn't matter how big the challenge we face in ministry or how many problems our church family members face individually and collectively. That should not be our focus. We must look to our Father who is bigger than the problems. 

This past Sunday, our Life Group teacher used Psalm 3 to show us how David felt overwhelmed as Absalom, his very own son, and what seemed like the whole world wanted David dead, but he lifted his heart in prayer to God and knew with confidence his God was in control.

O Lord, how many are my foes!

    Many are rising against me;
many are saying of my soul,    
there is no salvation for him in God. Selah
I cried aloud to the Lord,
    and he answered me from his holy hill. Selah
    I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.
I will not be afraid of many thousands of people
    who have set themselves against me all around.
    Save me, O my God!
For you strike all my enemies on the cheek;
    you break the teeth of the wicked.
    your blessing be on your people!
my glory, and the lifter of my head.
But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,
I lay down and slept;
Arise, O Lord!
Salvation belongs to the Lord.

So, what are we doing? As church members? As ministers and ministers' wives? Why do we look at our problems and the pressures we face, no matter how big (like David's) or small, and allow them to define our joy? Let's be like David and find our confidence, strength, and protection in the Lord.

I don't want Satan to rob my joy again. I have every power at my disposal to stop him, so do you. And we don't have to be back row Baptists or front row preachers' wives to figure this out. All we have to do is look above the problems to the Author and Perfecter of our faith. He'll take care of the rest.

We Don't Worship Santa Revisited

On Monday, an older lady waiting in line with us at the post office, asked my kids what Santa's bringing them for Christmas. My babies looked at me cluelessly. They know who Santa Claus is. What confused them was that a grown woman thought someone who is not real would bring presents to them. They looked to me to answer. I told her, "We don't do Santa. We..." She cut me off with a curt, "I'm sorry" and scurried away from me in utter fear, like I was some cult leader. Seriously, I didn't even get a chance to finish by explaining, "...focus more on Jesus' birth and less on Santa at Christmastime."

I do not want to kill Santa; I do want the freedom to focus on Christmas without his huge distraction for my children (and Justin and me, too). The Christmas season already doesn't go perfectly in our house. We fight materialism with our kids on a daily basis this time of year, Santa or not. Our kids don't care who is bringing the presents to them; they just want them and a lot of them. As a result, I want to spend our time focusing on the real reason we look forward to Christmas, to the God who humbled himself to be born as a baby to an unmarried nobody virgin girl in a stable of all places. Our kids understand the presents under the tree part all by themselves. No explaining, encouraging, or prompting needed. Ha ha!

I challenge you to pay attention this Christmas season to how much more Christians talk about Santa, his elves, and his gifts than they do the birth of our Savior this time of the year. See how many sweet saints ask your children about presents, being naughty or nice (which is only a gift-wrapped version of works salvation), or Santa and his reindeer. Then, and only then, will your eyes be opened to our culture's worship of Santa, even the Christian culture's worship. It makes me sad that Santa trumps Jesus so often in so many Christian homes. That's ultimately why we don't worship Santa.

Justin posted this blog post on our Facebook earlier this week. This man explained how I feel much better than I did last year here on R&R. Now, I will stop talking about Santa. Talking about him too much negatively still draws attention away from Jesus, and I don't want to do so. What I desire is for you to celebrate Christmas how God convicts and leads you. All I ask is that you pay attention to the Santa worship happening around you, and pray for the truth of Jesus to shine through the distractions. 

Have a merry Christmas!

The Perfect Marriage

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)

Who doesn't want the perfect marriage? There aren't many who shun the idea. We all want to be loved. We also want the world to think we're loved, so we become good at disguising the truth even when we are married, especially while at church and through social media; however, how many of us really have perfect marriages?

I have to admit that I get intimidated and, sometimes, discouraged by other Christians' marriages. When I hear of the couple who waited until they got married to have any type of physical connection, I feel inadequate. When I hear of the couple who has sold everything to move to a foreign country to serve God, I feel like Justin and I are not doing enough for the Lord here with what we have. All of the comparisons make me feel guilty at times.

However, those comparisons are not from God. He gives us forgiveness, hope, and restoration. And, most of all,  He gives us THE perfect marriage. When we meet Christ, we marry the perfect bridegroom. No matter how many times we fail Him, He will stay with us. No matter how many times we are unfaithful, He will continue to be faithful and never leave our side. Knowing this truth helps us have beautiful marriages here on earth as well. When a couple acknowledges their sins (past and present), God's healing hand makes what was once imperfect perfect. He can do this over and again throughout the course of a lifetime.

Last night, my beautiful, godly niece got engaged. My joy overflowed as I saw her face when she walked through the door to her surprise engagement party. The happiness was contagious. It reminded me that even though they are both sinners, they will soon swear to love each other no matter what. It's the most beautiful picture of God's love for His church this side of heaven. It's a redeeming love, like His. It's a faithful love. Most importantly, it's a selfless love.

My prayer is that God would bless all married Christians with the desire to love our spouses like He loves us. That way, we can show the world how His perfect love covers a multitude of sins, making the imperfect perfect no matter the circumstances.

Remembering Narnia

Recently, my kids and I watched the first Chronicles of Narnia movie for their first time. I was hesitant to show it to them because of the violence, but I decided that the good message far outweighed the bad. I'm so glad I did. My almost five year old daughter glued herself to the television. She fell in love with Peter, Edmund, Susan, and Lucy along with Aslan, the lion king. She asked a million questions throughout the movie, and it sparked some teachable moments. I didn't expect, however, for the experience to convict me of my own sin--my sin of forgetting the impact of the cross and resurrection.

When my precious daughter broke down watching Aslan being killed by the White Witch, she looked at me with alligator tears streaming down her face, pleading with me to tell her that everything was going to be okay. She exclaimed, "He is good! He did nothing wrong! Why is he dying for Edmund?" Then, when Aslan was resurrected, the pure joy she had seeing that he had defeated death brought tears to my eyes. No matter how many times I told her that everything was going to be okay and that this was a happy movie, she didn't believe me until Aslan came back to life. God hit me where it hurt during these moments. How many times do I take the cross for granted? How many times do I overlook that it was for me, the one who turned (and still turns) my back on Him? How many times do I forget how innocent His blood was? How many times do I flippantly think or talk about the resurrection without rejoicing in my soul? Too many to count, I'm afraid. 

Forgive me, Lord. Forgive us all for forgetting. 

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 (ESV)