This and That

This is so true, wives and mothers out there. I am convicted!

That is a great prayer to ponder.

C.S. Lewis

"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither."

“We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” 

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” 

"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.” 

This and That

Single males and females, read this. It's good advice. (Girls, pray for a guy like this!)

I have two awesome friends who are missionaries in Argentina. Read that to learn more about their ministry, and please join me in praying for them.

Screaming

Picture this: A pastor's wife and teacher who strives to lead by example in her every day life screaming at God while she drives to work to and fro. Does that seem crazy to you? Well, it's nice to meet you, too.

When Justin and I struggled with infertility, I had such a bad attitude towards God and was so angry with Him all the time. One day, I started screaming at the top of my lungs at Him through falling tears on the way to work. I couldn't take it anymore. He was withholding blessings from me. What had I done to deserve infertility? Wasn't I doing everything I could to live for Him? Why wouldn't he just give me one child? Why? Why? WHY!?!

Sadly, this became a pattern in my life for several months.

Then came silence. Nothing. Months of quiet. I didn't pray; He didn't answer. I thought He was fed up with me, and I really didn't care because He was hurting me. I was devastated. Nothing could make it better but a child.

Or could it?

Begrudgingly, I gave up. I opened my Bible and reread 1 Samuel 1 one more time. Here is an excerpt:

As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. And Eli said to her, “How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.” But Hannah answered, “No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.” Then Eli answered, “Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.” And she said, “Let your servant find favor in your eyes.” Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.

All of the sudden, I got it! Hannah walked away without tears, but she wasn't pregnant with Samuel yet. She believed God had never left her. God had never left me. He had been holding His screaming child in His arms. Now, I believed in my heart God had a plan for my life. He could use Justin and me for great things without being parents. Becoming a mother didn't define me. I was excited. I began to pray again. My face was no longer sad. And I wasn't pregnant.

Now, I have three beautiful blessings (see above--hahaha). That is not the way it happens for everyone, yet I pray that my testimony will encourage you to stop screaming, quit ignoring, and start praising Him for the life He's given you, even if He doesn't give you what you want. He will give you what you need.

7 Signs of Genuine Repentance

There are seven signs that indicate the offender is genuinely repentant: 

• Accepts full responsibility for his or her actions. (Instead of: "Since you think I've done something wrong . . ." or "If have done anything to offend you . . .") 
• Welcomes accountability from others. 
• Does not continue in the hurtful behavior or anything associated with it. 
• Does not have a defensive attitude about being in the wrong. 
• Does not dismiss or downplay the hurtful behavior. 
• Does not resent doubts about their sincerity or the need to demonstrate sincerity--especially in cases involving repeated offenses. 
• Makes restitution where necessary.

HT: Steve Cornell

The Truth

Last fall, I attended a Life Action Ministries revival at church. During the conference, the revival preacher's wife led a ladies' luncheon. There I was given a pamphlet based on Nancy Leigh DeMoss's Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free. I wish all women had this pamphlet stuck in their Bibles like I do. Rereading the statements and verses reminds me what I believe about God as opposed to what Satan wants me to believe when my doubts, fears, and insecurities creep into my mind and heart time and again. 

I pray my sharing these profound truths will bless you wherever you are in your walk with Him.

1. God is good. (Psalm 119:68; 136:1)

2. God loves me. (Romans 8:38-39)

3. I am accepted in Christ. (Ephesians 1:6)

4. God is enough. (Psalm 23:1)

5. God can be trusted. (Isaiah 28:16)

6. God doesn't make any mistakes! Everything that comes into my life has been filtered through His fingers of love. (Isaiah 46:10)

7. God's grace is sufficient for me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

8. The blood of Christ is sufficient to cover all my sin. (1 John 1:7)

9. The cross of Christ is sufficient to conquer my sinful flesh. (Romans 6:6-7) 

I do not have to sin! (Romans 6:14)

10. My past does not have to plague me. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) 

My past failures can become stepping stones to greater victory and fruitfulness. 

If I will let Him, God will cause everything that has happened to me to work together for my good and for His glory. (Romans 8:28)

11. God's Word is sufficient to lead me, teach me, heal me. (Psalm 19:7; 107:20; 119:105)

12. Through the power of His Holy Spirit, God will enable me to do anything He commands me to do. (1 Thessalonians  5:24) 

There is no one I cannot forgive. (Mark 11:25) 

There is no one I cannot love. (Matthew 5:44) 

I can give thanks in all things. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

13. Forgiveness is a choice. I can forgive. (Colossians 3:13)

14. Contentment is a choice. I can be content. (Hebrews 13:5; Philippians 4:11)

15. I am responsible before God for my behavior, responses, and choices. (Ezekiel 18:19-22)

16. I will reap whatever I sow. (Galatians 6:7-8)

17. The pathway to true joy is to relinquish control of my life, of my husband, of my children, of my circumstances. (Luke 1:38; 1 Peter 5:7; Matthew 16:25)

18. The greatest freedom I can experience is found through submission to God-ordained authority. (Ephesians 5:21) 

The husband is the head of the wife. (Ephesians 5:23) 

The wife is to reverence and submit to her husband. (Ephesians 5: 22, 33) 

The heart of the king is in the Lord's hand. (Proverbs 21:1)

19. In the will of God, there is no higher, holier calling than to be a wife and mother. (Titus 2:4-5)

20. It is more important that I be holy than that I be happy. Happiness is not a right. (Ephesians 5:26-27) 

21. God is more concerned about changing me and glorifying Himself than about solving my problems. (Romans 8:29)

22. It is impossible to be holy without suffering. Suffering is a tool in the hand of God to conform me to the image of Jesus. (1 Peter 5:10)

23. My suffering will not last forever. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18; Psalm 30:5)

24. It's not about me; it's about Him! (Colossians 1:16-18)

"If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32 (ESV)

This and That

This is a must-read blog post for mothers and future mothers. It's just plain beautiful.

And that is a book all Western Christians should read to see what persecution is like for Christians in China. It changed my life.

Where Are You?

I recently read this book. It was refreshing to have an older woman impart godly wisdom to me as a younger wife and mother. There isn't enough of that in Christian churches. As a pastor's wife, I have seen, up close and personal, the absence of women who obey Titus 2:3-5 (ESV):

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

The problem oddly mirrors our culture's obsession with youth. Women look younger and younger each year with the help of talented plastic surgeons and fancy spa treatments. I'm not saying all of that's a bad thing, but the sad part is that the inner spirits of most older women look just as immature. 


Most of the Bible studies I have taught were comprised of women from young to old. I always felt uncomfortable teaching the older women, but at the same time, I felt they were needed in the class to impart godly wisdom to us. It happened occasionally, but not like it should. What usually occurs is the younger women teach the younger and the older women teach the older. How is that biblical?

At the end of last year, I needed advice from godly women. Instead, most older women who knew the details of my troubles told me to call it quits with my husband, turned a blind eye to our situation, or--the worst--completely abandoned me. No older woman was telling me to love my husband as Christ loves him. How confusing for me to read about Hosea pursuing Gomer with a sacrificial love and then be told to walk away from my vows. Consequently, I turned to two godly men for advice, one a pastor and one a counselor. I shared personal details with these men putting myself in a vulnerable position because so many of the older women in my life abandoned God's command in Titus. (FYI: I praise God for the godly advice from those men who did not take advantage of me. They were instruments of the Holy Spirit in my life to reconcile and restore my marriage.)

If you are offended as you read this, I pray that you will examine whether or not that is God's way of convicting you. The younger ladies need you, and we don't think you aren't cool, hip, fly, or ______ (insert slang word of your choice). We crave your wisdom and your guidance. Please don't think we should do church and family work alone because we are younger and have more energy. In reality, we are more exhausted and need your help so that we won't make a mess of it all!

 Where were you, ladies? Where are you, ladies? Please teach us. And I pray I will teach the younger women when I am older. I pray I won't disappear also.

Diagnosis: Prideful

The Symptoms

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." Philippians 2:3 (ESV)

Have you checked your motives lately? I try to do a motive check-up often. If I start to have a bad attitude toward something or someone, God convicts me. Then, I examine why I wound up there. It's usually because of my pride: Things weren't going my way or people weren't acting like I thought they should: How dare they? I can't believe it. I don't deserve to be treated like--Shut up, Christie.

Do a self-check quickly by answering this question: When was the last time you considered someone else better than yourself? 

Parents, don't say "every day with my kids" because we need to humble ourselves in parenting too. Are you serving your kids with joy and love? Are you frustrated because they won't act like little adults all the time? Don't you want that so you can have time for yourself? Yep, I thought so. Same here. I failed the check-up. 

If you are married, when is the last time you considered your husband or wife better than yourself? Do you serve him or her only to be served in return? Do you dislike the way your spouse did something especially after you've told him/her a thousand times to do it? Ladies, do you nag your husbands? Men, do you ignore your wives?

What about your boss, your co-workers, your friends, your fellow church members, your pastor, or your neighbors? Do you look down on them? Do you serve them? Do you judge their motives, not knowing their hearts like God does? 

God calls us to have a completely different attitude than what the world expects in all relationships.
  

The Cure

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." Philippians 2:3 (ESV)

"The reward for humility and fear of the LORD is riches and honor and life." Proverbs 22:4 (ESV)

How can we beat pride's grip on us? Proverbs 22:4 makes it clear: We must humble ourselves before God and fear Him. Our relationship with God will mirror our relationships with others. If we humble ourselves daily before His throne, He will grant us the grace to treat others as "more significant" (Phil. 2:3). I know this personally because when I was faced with others' sins against me, God broke me, showing me I am just as guilty as they. God painfully humbled me to the point that I was on my face before Him begging His forgiveness for my own sins. I had no pride left. By the work of the Holy Spirit, the only way I was able to reach this point was through intense prayer and Bible reading, which led me to kiss one of my offender's feet, and I did. Literally. God may want you to do the same to someone. He may want you to wash someone's feet. Or he may want you to humble yourself by saying simply, "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you." No matter what, God is calling you to humble yourself. Go to www.BibleGateway.com and do a keyword search on humble or humble yourself or humility to see everything God has to say about this topic in His Word. Be prepared to be convicted.

It's sad how many people live their entire lives sick with pride. The homeless person on the street corner needs humility, not your cold shoulder. That hurting co-worker needs your humility, not your judgement. Those hateful church members need your humility, not your condemnation. Your family doesn't need impatience and hostility from you. Guess what? They need your humility too.

So join me, please, and let's humble ourselves before the Lord today. May our actions bless others as we seek to glorify God and to remember that it's not about us.

For an Aching Soul

You Will Not Abandon My Soul.

A Miktam of David.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”

As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;    
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;    
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
    my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16 (ESV)

Help for Your Marriage

You may be tired of reading it by now (if you're going to read my blog, then you'll read it again and again), but I learned a few truths about marriage over the past year. When my marriage went south, I had to reevaluate it. What I thought was normal wasn't. I had to change my thinking completely; Justin did, too. With advice and counsel from others, Justin and I have consistently added some positive characteristics to our marriage that previously we didn't value like we should. Here they are:

1. Pray together. I don't mean just at meals either. Pray for common interests and goals. If you have children, pray for them. Most importantly, pray for your marriage together. There's nothing like baring your soul before your Creator and your mate. Justin and I often failed in this area. We told each other for what we were praying or shared prayer requests, but that lacked the intimacy that praying together brings.

2. Read together. The Bible is a good place to start, but you should do that individually more than together. Justin and I did this off and on, but now we have added Christian books about marriage to our reading list. Here are two good marriage strengtheners we've enjoyed reading to each other: Sacred Marriage and Devotions for a Sacred Marriage. There are many others out there too. Explore together!

3. Spend time together. Unplug from everything and pay attention to each other. Sitting in a room at the same time doesn't count because chances are you are both on your computer or phone or watching television, etc. Earlier in our marriage, we often spent time together on the weekends, but it was full of distractions and unnecessary interruptions. Now, Justin and I will sit in our chairs, hold hands, and watch the kids play. It's lots of fun not being distracted by electronics of any kind.

4. Go to bed together. (And I'm not talking about what you're thinking, but that's good to do, too!) Go to bed at the same time. Justin and I were always so busy with work we brought home or crying kids that this wasn't a priority. Now that it is, we have some edifying conversations. Pillow talk is good stuff!

If you make the above four things priorities in your relationship, you will see a difference in your marriage. You may think your marriage is just fine the way it is. I did, too. Today, I know otherwise.

This and That

Help the helpless through this wonderful organization.

Read about that and join me in praying for revival.

Lessons I Learned from Granddaddy Brown

 Raymond T. Brown 1922-2011

•  Kit-Kats and Snickers taste better cold.
• Pancakes are an art form (no recipe can duplicate his).
• Money isn't everything; generosity is.
• Education isn't everything; biblical wisdom is.
• Men have soap operas too (pronounced soap "opree"). His was The A-Team.
• Sometimes you have to spin out of the driveway just to shake things up a bit.
• When neighbors ask for help, drop everything and help them.
• When a car breaks down, it takes three men to fix it: Two to stand, stare, and talk. One to work.
• Keep your front door open to visitors and treat them like family.
• When someone comes to visit you, feed them (even if they just ate).
• Nothing beats sitting on the front porch, drinking Mammaw Brown's sweet tea.
• No matter the reason or how much it costs, be there for your family.

God's Love

I hear You say, 
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

From Times by Tenth Avenue North

God's Culture

 God adopts us into His culture:

 

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

From Romans 8, ESV

This and That

A great song and video is this.

A similar video and another great song is that.

Enjoy!

This and That

Think twice before calling your pastor. Read this instead.

I read that on Pinterest and was convicted, humbled, and encouraged by "25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband."

The Breaking Point

"Don't worry; God won't give you more than you can handle." How many times have I heard this lie? How many times have I spread this lie? Too many times to count. There's even a new Christian song on K-Love that says, "I won't give you more more than you can take, and I might let you bend, but I won't let you break." More lies. I think they're well-meaning, but still lies. We all have a breaking point because God wants to eliminate our pride so that we can see our dire need for Him.

Some of you may think, "That's really a lie?" Yes, it is. No verse in the Bible says or implies that God will keep us from calamity, strife, peril, nakedness, or a host of other horrible things. In fact, the Bible makes it clear that when and where we are weak, He is strong. Think about David's life for a second or two. David couldn't handle when Saul sought to take David's life driving David to the wilderness. Ponder Psalm 6:

O Lord, rebuke me not in your anger,
    nor discipline me in your wrath.
Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing;
     heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled.
My soul also is greatly troubled.
    But you, O Lord— how long?

Turn, O Lord, deliver my life;
    save me for the sake of your steadfast love.
For in death there is no remembrance of you;
    in Sheol who will give you praise?

I am weary with my moaning;
    every night I flood my bed with tears;
    I drench my couch with my weeping.
My eye wastes away because of grief;
    it grows weak because of all my foes.

Ponder Psalm 51 too and a myriad of others David composed during the trials he faced--from being chased by King Saul to facing the consequences of his adultery with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah. Almost always, David tells of his impossible circumstances whether Saul-inflicted or self-inflicted. Then he begs God to act. David prays in his brokenness, and God saves, restores, disciplines, and/or rebukes.

I have experienced this truth in my own life. For five years, I couldn't handle infertility. I begged God to give me what I wanted because I was so broken over a barren womb. Having children didn't take all the pain from that time away either like most would think; instead, it brought a period of trials and helplessness as a new mother. Then, when I was in survival mode with a two year old and infant twins,  the people I loved and trusted the most betrayed me. I couldn't deal. I didn't want to get out of bed many days, and I have never felt so alone and afraid in my life, yet God was there. I was broken, on my face, having no security underneath me but His Word (literally and figuratively), but God gave me the truth I needed. Just when I thought I had faced everything God could allow to happen to me in this short life, the pit grew deeper still, and more trials came: my grandfather, who was more like my father, died on my wedding anniversary, and then my other grandfather died two months later. I was and am broken over my hurts and struggles, but I am still standing here only by the grace of God. I didn't do anything in and of myself to get through those storms (and many others I've faced) except trust the One who saved me on October 22, 2000 when I was flat on my face crying out for forgiveness for the horrible deeds I had done. He was there in my brokenness then and now. Praise Him!

So as you can see, the circumstances I faced, like David, were more than I could handle whether self-inflicted or not. I have a breaking point, and so do you. Please stop trying to fix your problems thinking you have to be strong enough, and please don't believe the lie that things won't get worse just because you are almost at your wit's end. The pit could grow deeper, yet hope can be found in your seemingly hopeless situation. First, throw away your pride. Then, open your Bible. He can mend the brokenness.

This and That

For my stay-at-home mom friends, read this for an encouraging word.

I love that godly man's blog. I read it several times a week.

On Being a POW

Did I type POW? Oops! I meant PW. For those of you in Southern Baptist churches, you know that PW means pastor's wife. I was a youth pastor's wife for three years and a senior pastor's wife for six years. I am no life-long expert on being a PW, but I have enough experience to know a thing or two. The following are some things your PW might want you to know.

Things your PW needs you to do (in no particular order):

1. Love her. (1 John 2:11)

You may not like her for whatever reason, but you are called to love her as she is called to love you. She may not like you either, by the way, and that's okay too.

2. Pray for her. (James 5:16)

Her job as a wife (and possibly mother too) is very hard because she shares her husband with a lot of people. She is single on Sundays and many other days of the week when your 3rd cousin's left toe gets infected, and you expect her husband to be at the hospital praying for healing. You also expect him to continue visiting the elderly shut-ins, preparing a sermon, administering guidance to other church staff, walking door-to-door inviting people to church, and leading his family like the Bible says he should all at the same time.

2. Encourage her. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Send her a note in the mail letting her know how much she's appreciated, and that you're praying for her. Surprise notes always meant the world to me. I saved them all and reread them when I needed encouragement.

3. Support her. (James 4:11)

Speak kindly about her to others. Stand up for her when others put her down.

5. Serve her. (Mark 10:45)

Invite her family to Sunday lunch every once in a while or take them out to eat. I can't tell you how thankful Justin and I were to have people offer this to us at times. It was a good time to fellowship with church members, and it gave me a break. (Please don't get offended if they say no. They might have other plans or are just plain tired.)

Things your PW does not need you to do (in no particular order):

1. Expect her to be your BFF. 

Do you think she can be everyone's best friend? Are you everyone's friend in the church? Do you think she can buy you and/or your kid she's never met presents every time there's a birthday or marriage or birth in your family? If so, please give her husband a raise so that she can quit her job (if she works), hire a nanny to take care of her kids, and have time to shop (and afford) all the time and gifts you expect from her. 

2. Tell her what you want her husband to do. 

She is encouraging and supporting her husband. She cannot, however, tell him how to minister and/or preach. That is his gift, not hers. She's commanded to submit to his leadership in her marriage. Plus, scripture also demands her submission to him as her pastor. Why aren't you doing the same?

3. Guilt her into serving in your ministry. 

You have gifts; she has gifts. Those aren't necessarily the same. She will serve where she feels led. Not all ministers' wives are long-time children's Sunday School teachers who play the piano so well they can play with their toes. 

4. Talk badly about her. 

She will hear about it. Don't tempt her to not love you. She's trying to love everyone her husband shepherds.

5. Stare at her. 

What will that accomplish? If you want to talk to her, go talk to her. If you don't want to talk to her, then mind your own business please. She feels like she's in the limelight as it is, so don't make church uncomfortable for her. Let her worship free from distractions.

6. Embarrass her. 

It is not okay to put her on the spot because she is the PW. Treat her as you would like to be treated. PW's come in all personality types, so your PW may not be the type who is outspoken and likes all the attention. She may have married a man who wasn't in the ministry and surrendered later in life. Conversely, she may have signed up for this life willingly. It doesn't matter either way. What does matter is that she likes her husband, and she married him. She doesn't like being humiliated though.

7. Betray her.

If you get close to her, then don't use her for your own selfish ambitions. Are you trying to get information for your power-hungry deacon husband? Are you trying to get dirt on her to hurt her husband's ministry because you don't like him or for some other ungodly reason? Are you wanting info for your gossiping buddies? Are you trying to steal her husband away from her and her children? Leave that poor woman alone; don't be an instrument of Satan. And please repent from your evil deeds. It's not too late to reconcile with God and others.

Well, as you can see, being a PW is kind of like being a POW since spiritual warfare is real within churches. Christians, keep doing the things you know you should do. Your PW benefits from your faithfulness to God. Unfortunately, all people in churches aren't really Christians. Some are there as Satan's warriors fighting against God's people and His commands and desires. Remember that the next time you start to criticize your PW.

I didn't get the title wrong after all. 

This and That

I stumbled upon this blog post last fall by the sovereignty of God. All women, married and desiring to marry, need to read it. I've posted it on Facebook a time or two; that's how much I like it.

You should read that too if you're a mom or grandmom to boys. It's good advice.

Ugly, Mean, and Fat

This morning, as I do almost every morning, I helped my three year old daughter pick out clothes to wear. The scenario usually resembles a tug-of-war where one of us finally gives up. Today was no different except that she refused to wear the shorts and shirt I chose because she claimed that "those make me look ugly, mean, and fat." I was devastated.

One of my greatest fears is raising a girl-child who is insecure because of her outward appearance. Every where I look--television, radio, internet, billboards, and even within personal relationships--sexy women are glorified. I was haunted by these images as a young girl, never feeling pretty enough compared to my friends and then as a teenager/young woman never feeling sexy enough compared to the images I idolized in magazines and movies. The world is not going to help my sweet daughter either.

I continue to buy the lie sometimes. Every time I read 1 Peter: 2-5, though, I am reminded:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—  but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands...

Don't women seek to no end "imperishable beauty"? I think the last fifteen infomercials I have watched were for some sort of new miracle beauty product. Not surprisingly, God gives us a clear way to obtain beauty, and it doesn't have anything to do with the latest wrinkle cream. Think of the kindest woman you know. How does she look to you? Isn't she beautiful?

It's an ongoing battle. As parents and relatives of small girls, we have to protect our daughters from oversexualization at a young age, and then we must insulate them with the Truth so that they will be armed to face the world who is waging war against their tender souls. There can never be enough reassurance in this area. We should not pressure our young females to adopt a world's view of beauty so that they can be popular.

I grabbed my little blessing's face with tears in my eyes and said, "Please don't ever think of or talk about yourself using those three words. Baby, you are beautiful." She is. HE is. 

Forgiveness

"It's the hardest thing to give away." Forgiveness by Matthew West
"Oh Father, give me grace to forgive them 'cause I feel like the one losin'." Losing by Tenth Avenue North

The sweetest word is forgiveness, yet we withhold this precious gift from those we love because of our own selfish desires and ambitions. Instead, we carry around the heavy burden of unforgiveness hurting ourselves more than the one(s) who wronged us. We forget that we have been forgiven so much through the cross of Christ. 

I pray for God to grant me grace to choose forgiveness over bitterness each day.

Whom do you need to forgive? Won't you let go of the debt they owe you? Trust me, I know first-hand, you will feel a thousand times lighter.

This and That

Two great Christian websites full of articles that encourage and convict are this and that. Check them out!

Loving Your Man

Ladies, do you love your husbands? Of course, you do! Does he think you love him? Of course, he does! That's not our struggle. The better questions are these: Do you respect your husband? Sometimes, maybe. Does he think you do? Probably not, unfortunately.

I taught a class in the fall of 2011 based on the Bible study Loving Your Husband by Cynthia Heald. Through that study, I learned so much to prepare me for the hardest three months of my marriage. When Satan tried to tear my marriage apart, I reexamined my role as a wife by looking to God's Word for help. Again and again, He convicted and encouraged me. Here's what I discovered:

For my entire marriage, I have struggled with showing respect to Justin. Did I respect him? Yes. Absolutely. Did I show it? Nope. Hardly ever. I nagged him instead when I thought he should help me do something or complained when he asked me to help him do something. Many times I refused to help him because I felt I was too busy with my job or with the kids to assist him; however, it angered me when he failed to do the same. How's that for double standards? 

The Bible makes it pretty clear that women don't have a problem loving their husbands. We do, however, have problems respecting them. That's why God commands us to respect our husbands in Ephesians 5:33: ^"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." One of the two main ways a man feels loved is by feeling respected by his wife and kids. (You know the other way, but that discussion if for another blog post.) God doesn't have to command men to respect their wives; they are commanded to love. (That's another blog post, too!) We are told to respect our husbands. And we are to do this no matter what, even if what he is doing isn't respectable. God doesn't make exceptions.

What are some practical ways to respect your husband? 

• Don't talk badly about him to his face or to others. If you have a problem with him, go to him and seek to resolve it that way. Your mother or best friend won't fix things. 
• Help him. If you think he doesn't need your help, ask him how you can make his life easier that day. Ask until he tells you what he needs from you. Be prepared to fulfill his requests. 
• Seek to serve him and not be served by him. 
• Don't take the culture's mentality towards men. Satan fills the media and entertainment industries with the idea that men are stupid, hormone driven, and immature. 
• Believe in your husband as a man. Take interest in his work. Be there for him even when you don't feel like it. Let him do things that make him feel masculine.

You may feel like your husband is your enemy at times. Trust me, I have felt that way before too. Because I felt like Justin was against me, I felt like the whole world was against me. Nevertheless, God gave me the grace to respect, help, and love Justin through some dark days. All I did was ask God's help. Period. That's my secret: I prayed. I am a testimony to this truth--God is faithful to those who seek to honor and obey him.

So do I continue to disrespect my husband? Yes, sometimes because I am not perfect, yet God has convicted me of this sin and has revealed to me the JOY of helping my husband from listening to and supporting his ideas about the future to offering to help him with daily tasks. The best part is that this joy spills over to parenting my children. By the grace of God, I can say with confidence that I am a better wife than I have ever been as I love my man by respecting him. Do you respect yours?