Help!

When my twin boys were infants, I would take them to church on Sundays by myself along with my two year old little girl who was potty training. Where was my husband? He was already at church because he was the pastor. Doesn't everyone know the saying for ministers' wives, "single on Sundays"? No? Well, there's some truth in it. I would get myself and all three babies ready and head twenty something miles to church all alone. Exhausted already, I then unloaded three babies with two baby carriers along with diaper bags, my purse and Bible, and headed to worship the Lord. I would meet several people along the way who would say, "Do you need help?" My initial response, "No, I'm okay. I do this all the time by myself." But my insides were screaming, "Yes! I'm dying here! I need your help!"

Why didn't I tell the truth? Pride. Stupid pride. Mixed with fear. Stupid fear.

Getting help with children might seems like a silly example to you, but if I wouldn't ask for help in the difficult yet seemingly small daily tasks I faced, would I ask for help in the big things? Would I turn to others in hard times or just withdraw into myself thinking I could do it on my own? When I needed a friend, would I contact one? When I needed my husband, would I tell him? When I needed God, would I seek Him? The sad answer is no. Oftentimes, I did not. I tried to handle many things on my own, all the while bottling up some pretty nasty feelings inside.

When I finally reached rock bottom and asked for God's help, it was like a wave of relief crashed over me. Admitting to Him that I couldn't do life on my own was the best answer to my pride. Admitting to God that I needed other people in my life was the second best answer to it. By seeking godly counsel, I have become much more humble. These people keep me focused on Truth and reality. Now, it brings me great joy to say that I cannot do life alone.

I don't know what you're facing privately, but I know you don't have to do it alone. Seek help from Him and others. I implore you to humble yourself and set aside your fears. I have found that being vulnerable and transparent in struggles brings much relief, even when it doesn't immediately solve the problem. Ask for help!

A Daughter's First Love

"Dad: A son's first hero; a daughter's first love."

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

Not only is today Jesus' birthday, but today is also my father's 60th birthday. I am proud to say I am his daughter. I am grateful that our relationship has turned a 180 as I have grown closer to the Lord and starting honoring my father as I always should have. 

Thanks, Daddy/Opa, for being a special part of my life and my children's lives! Happy 60th birthday! I wish you many more!

It Doesn't Feel Like Christmas

When an evil villain breaks into an elementary school and takes twenty-something lives viscously, it doesn't feel like Christmas.

Justin and I were out of town on Friday when we heard of the horrific events in Connecticut. We had arrived earlier that day and were looking forward to celebrating our tenth anniversary. As soon as the tragic news reached our ears, I longed to hold my three precious children so tightly. I cried for the mothers and fathers and other family members who lost loved ones.

It didn't feel like Christmas or an anniversary or anything worth celebrating.

I struggled with feelings of guilt. How can I just lie here under the sun in paradise and relax while these people are suffering? How can I reconcile my current state with theirs? How can I justify what happened to these school officials and small children in my mind?

These questions went unanswered.

Then, the news kept pouring in as we vacationed. We heard stories of hope, encouragement, forgiveness, and love in the Newtown community. For the first time in a long time, I saw positive media coverage; I heard our president deliver an amazing speech; and I saw news reporters at a loss for words.

It was then I knew for certain it didn't feel like Christmas whatsoever. God was using this terrible circumstance to bring glory to His name. And that's not like Christmas. That's like the cross.

It definitely doesn't feel like Christmas. It feels like Calvary where the Innocent was slain.

Love Me--Hate Me

Truth resonates, even in the Christian life, from the following well-known adage: 


There's a thin line between love and hate.

Jesus is the perfect example of this mystery. On Sunday, people are revering, praising, adoring, and worshiping Him while laying palm branches at His feet. A few days later, the same people cry out for Him to be crucified. They hate Him, spit on Him, and call Him horrible names. They mock Him and treat Him like dirt.

Clearly, I am not the King of Kings and Lord of Lords; I'm not even worthy to kiss his feet. The way some people treat me, however, brings me closer to Him in His sufferings. It also gives me motivation to treat others like Christ does and to love as He loves. He hung on the cross crying out, "Father, forgive them. They know not what they do." No matter how deeply and actively I am hated by people who once claimed to love my family and me, I still have an obligation to love and forgive my offenders, and like Jesus, to pray for them. My flesh wants to hate as I am hated. I cannot let my self win. 

A Prayer of David.

    Give ear to my prayer from lips free of deceit!

From your presence let my vindication come!

    Let your eyes behold the right!

    you have tested me, and you will find nothing;

    I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress.

With regard to the works of man, by the word of your lips

    I have avoided the ways of the violent.

My steps have held fast to your paths;

    my feet have not slipped.

    incline your ear to me; hear my words.

Wondrously show your steadfast love,

    O Savior of those who seek refuge

    from their adversaries at your right hand.

    hide me in the shadow of your wings,

from the wicked who do me violence,

    my deadly enemies who surround me.

    with their mouths they speak arrogantly.

They have now surrounded our steps;

    they set their eyes to cast us to the ground.

He is like a lion eager to tear,

    as a young lion lurking in ambush.

    Deliver my soul from the wicked by your sword,

from men by your hand, O Lord,

    from men of the world whose portion is in this life.

You fill their womb with treasure;

    they are satisfied with children,

    and they leave their abundance to their infants.

    when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.

How can one go from being loved to being hated in a matter of days, hours, minutes, or even seconds? How can people who claim Christ show great love for other Christians and then seemingly hate them as deeply whether a wrong has been committed or not? I don't know the answers to these questions, yet I do know it happens more often than people would like to admit.

The world doesn't understand how loving haters is possible. How can Christians truly love people who continue to wrong them? Only by the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives and the remembrance of what Christ has done for them. 

This Psalm brings much encouragement to me when the enmity stings me time and again:

Psalm 17, ESV

Hear a just cause, O Lord; attend to my cry!

You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night,

I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God;

Keep me as the apple of your eye;

They close their hearts to pity;

Arise, O Lord! Confront him, subdue him!

As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;

This and That

My post on Santa has become a hot one! It's moving up the charts of the most read on R&R. I am not surprised because so many people disagree with me. Here are two other Christians' viewpoints on why they don't do Santa.
 
This is Noel Piper's blog about Santa. She does a much better job explaining than I.

That is a recent blog post by Justin Taylor with two videos on this topic you should check out.