Advice for New Wives

During the ten years I've been married, I've been given some really good (and really bad) advice regarding marriage. Here are the top ten (or eleven) things I wish someone had told me before I got married:

1. Marriage is hard. Don't buy the world's philosophy: "If it doesn't come easy, let it go." Work hard at making your marriage the one you want.
2. Don't be naive. Your marriage might seem easy at times, but that could change in a flash--for anyone.
3. You are only responsible for yourself. You cannot worry yourself to death about what your husband does or does not do. You must control your actions, thoughts, and words. You cannot control his, so don't try.
4. Your house doesn't have to be perfect. Do not neglect it though. You will only cause yourself more stress, which will cause your husband more stress. Ask your husband to help when necessary. It's his house, too.
5. Seek to be your husband's helper. Try to make his life easier. It will make yours much easier, actually. It sounds strange, I know, but it works.
6. Don't say no in the bedroom unless you have good reason. Satan wants you to neglect your husband's needs, and he will give you a million reasons to do so. Don't listen to him.
7. Your husband's greatest need from you is not sex; it is respect. Don't treat him like a child, even if he is acting childish.
8. Try to look your best for your husband and no one else. You know he's attracted to you because he married you; you don't have to become a supermodel all of the sudden. Just be the best you that you can be.
9. Respect his time and schedule. Don't expect him to do things you want to do without asking him; don't plan things for him without asking (unless it's a surprise for him, of course); and don't invite people over without asking. It's his house, too!
10. Treat him the way you want to be treated. Don't sit around waiting for romance. Be romantic!

Most importantly, ask for help! Tell your husband when you need him; go to older godly women for advice when necessary; and don't hold things inside and expect your life to miraculously get better. No one can read your mind but God, and even though He can read your mind, you still need to ask Him consistently for the marriage and the life you so desire--ones that glorify Him.