Interview

Matt Smethurst interviews Tullian Tchividjian about his new book: Read the whole thing here. 

I identify with this answer, particularly, because God has been chipping away my idols piece by piece over the past five years. He knocked off a big chunk in the last year of my life. I put my favorite quote in bold. 

The idea that the Holy Spirit comforts us in our grief isn't uncommon, but what does the gospel itself have to do with our suffering?

Through many throbbing trials I've discovered that painful circumstances themselves cannot rob us of joy. Only idolatry can. Joylessness in the crucible of ache happens when we lose (or are losing) something we think we need to be truly happy---something that "makes us."

When I was going through a painful transition during a church merger, I thought the source of my joylessness was my circumstances. Fear, anxiety, anger, frustration---all of these things, I assumed, would go away if my circumstances were different. If those out to get me would simply start being nice or leave the church, then my pain would vanish. But the truth was that God was breaking down my idols. I never realized how dependent I'd become on human approval and acceptance to "justify" me until God took it away. I never realized just how much I was relying on the validation of others to make me feel like I mattered until it was gone. God reminded me that when we're united to Christ, we don't need to spend our lives trying to earn the approval, acceptance, or affection of those around us because Jesus has already earned God's approval, acceptance, and affection for us.

Interestingly, even though my circumstances worsened in the ensuing months, knowing that everything I needed was already mine in Jesus set me free. I wasn't immediately set free from my pain, but the good news of the gospel set me free in my pain---free from bitterness, anxiety, fear, anger, and so on.

Or maybe you're suffering through a less-than-satisfying marriage, and you're ready to throw in the towel. While your marriage may indeed be racked with difficulty, it's not so much the painful circumstances that ultimately cause your joylessness. It's the fact that you're depending on your spouse to be for you what only Jesus can be.

The gospel comes in and announces that, because Jesus has done everything for me, I can do everything for you without needing you to do anything for me. So, for example, I enjoy receiving love from my wife. Something in me comes alive when Kim expresses affection toward me. But I've learned that I don't need that love, because in Jesus I receive all the love I need. This then liberates me to love Kim without apprehension or condition. I get to revel in her enjoyment of my love without needing anything from her in return. I get love from Jesus so I can give love to her. The gospel frees me from the pressure to extract from her (and others) what I think I need in order to be secure, significant, and happy---since my identity is locked in what Christ has already given me, not in what I can get from others.