This Present Hell

Despair. Hopelessness. Suffering. Those are ugly words and even uglier feelings. Sometimes, my suffering feels never ending with no hope in sight. During those times, I drown in despair. Recently, I was reminded that it's not my job to end my own suffering but to stand in Truth and keep pressing forward. When those tough days come, three things I must remember are as follows:

1) God is sovereign. God has everything in heaven and on earth under His control. (Psalm 103)
2) God has the best for my life in His heart and mind. (Philippians 1:6)
3) Jesus asked for his suffering to end, too, and it didn't. 

³⁶ Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” ³⁷ And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. ³⁸ Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” ³⁹ And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” ⁴⁰ And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? ⁴¹ Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” ⁴² Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” ⁴³ And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. ⁴⁴ So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. ⁴⁵ Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on. See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. ⁴⁶ Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand."
From Matthew 26, ESV

Jesus asked three times for the cup to pass from Him, but the cup was His to bear. He had to endure the most intense suffering, something I will never experience because, by God's amazing grace, the cup remained in Jesus' possession. Jesus could have ended His sorrow, but He didn't because it wasn't God's will. Jesus, being perfect, accepted the will of God. I, on the other hand, give in to my flesh and look for ways to hurry through this present hell, yet it's not my job to pass the cup. It's God's. He will declare, "It is finished" when it is, and not one moment earlier. Until that blessed day, my suffering soul rests in Him.